JCasa *handmade

underscored

last summer i was thrilled to have been contacted by the editor of artful blogging to compose a piece for the Winter 2010 issue.  it was a completely wonderful experience from the inner work of self-examination and writing, to selecting the photos, and working with the editor along the way.

and i have to confess, i squealed more than just a bit when it quietly arrived in my mailbox.  and to find my piece nestled snugly among other artists + bloggers whom i admire provided further inspiration and delight.  everything - from the way it was compiled and arranged and formatted - is beyond artful, and i truly feel honored.

and yes, i was not the only one who was a giddy - a certain high-pitched voice from the backseat of the car as we sat in the driveway paging through the issue said, "hey sissy!  we're in a magazine!"  oh, how i love my little rock stars.

my sincerest thanks to artful blogging for this opportunity.  as i read back through my piece today, it resonates so deeply with where we are right here right now - something i could not have known about 6 months ago when i wrote it, but thankfully has been in my heart + soul all along.

:

and friends, thank you ever so much for your supportive notes and gestures this past week.  i feel rejuvenated by your spirits and inspired to live every day to its fullest.  i pretty much tried to do that before all of this, but i'll gladfully embrace my situation as a reminder rather than a wakeup call.  warm wishes to you + yours!  xoxo

found

what are those blobs running toward the house?

while looking through the closet for something cozy yesterday afternoon, i came upon two rather large sweaters i knit a while back.  as in i cannot remember exactly when, but i am guessing over 15 years ago when my 20-something self embraced the whole oversized sweater + leggings thing.  now, not so much - it's a cute look, but i now recognize that on me, those sweaters have me looking more like the woman who hid a dozen children under her petticoat.

i am beyond pleased that both sweaters are in excellent condition and am thrilled to have found them.  more than likely, i had tucked them away to pass down to my own children someday far off in the future.  but i rather think they would do more good by passing them on right now to keep someone else warm this winter - and so, into the bag they go for Easter Seals pickup next week, along with the results of our toy purge this afternoon.  i quite like the idea of tucking these gems in there and a happy thrifter may come upon them and gasp.  

as for my kiddos, i am thrilled to have been witness to them scampering around the backyard in these sweaters - so very happy to have this memory in my mind's eye as well as photos for posterity.  there is plenty of mamamade knitting (and sewing) being done for them right now, and i highly doubt they'll hold this one against me in a few decades.  if mama raises them right, not only will they understand the concept of sharing good things, but they will also gasp when they come upon hidden thrifting treasures as well.  xoxo

an everyday

the girls' orchard field trip was cancelled today, so i took them on a treasure hunt (a.k.a. thrifting + antiquing) as a consolation prize.  we enjoyed lunching on honeycrisp apples and sandwiches with "waves" of nutella, took snapshots of the prismatic countryside out the sunroof, found treasures in the form of a keepsake box and an antique meatball-maker(picture a scissors with scoops at the end of each tip), and mama joined in on the singing of "i gotta feeling" after hearing it on the radio for the bazillionth time.

and then sweet serendipity had us arriving home just in time to be inspired and uplifted by the beautiful stephanie on oprah.  thank you, nie nie.  you - and your family and your story and the ripple you create with the words you say and write and live - are magical.

some days admittedly are better than others, for everyone i imagine.  for us, today was exceptional in its simplicity and pure pleasure of enjoying one another.  having the opportunity to spend my days with my children is a gift i shall breathe in and savor until i must breathe it out in the hopes of being able to take yet another breath.  thank you for this day, and for the reminder of everyday joys. xoxo

upon arrival

upon arrival at soccer this weekend, we found ourselves alone.  so i checked my phone and discovered that the game had been cancelled due to field conditions.

we scrimmaged, ran drills, each scored several goals by teaming up to distract me while the other ran to my blind spot, and we laughed ourselves silly.  i even took them for ice cream afterwards.  for us, the day was not cancelled in any way whatsoever.  xoxo

happiness is...

drag races at dusk ::

start your engines...

on your mark... get set...

go!

a new after-dinner tradition.  part of each heat is an ever-changing obstacle course once the wheels hit the grass.  feel free to knit a row or two between belly laughs.  my side still smarts.  good times for racers + spectators alike.  when we found those cars for $5/each at garage sales the past 2 years, never could i have imagined how much they'd be loved.  heck, if i had a green convertible, i'd be in it every possible moment, as well.  xoxo

square one

back in the time known as b.k. (before kiddos), i spent a fair amount of time at my co-op pottery studio.  it was a quiet zone with the utmost respect of space and freedom, and wonderful relationships were built.  it was a creative time in a very inspiring space - i felt safe taking risks and stepping away from a lifetime of being convinced "i cannot draw for shit so i am not an artist".  it all changed then and there.  the clay, that studio, my teacher + friends :: it changed me.

that urge to create, that need to use my hands + make things didn't stop when i had the littles, but it definitely went into hibernation for a while.  over time, though, the maker in me resurfaced with many baby knits and eventually during one naptime, i happened upon the sewing machine my mom gave me about 20 years ago.  i remember her telling me that it would be "a good thing to have", but never knew what it would come to mean for me. 

it was on that first sewing machine that i made the hub a set of curtains with Barry + Glodean xerox transfers back when we were dating.  and it is that hub who encouraged me to find that pottery studio.  and it is that pottery studio that made me realize i have a creative voice.  and it is that creative voice that resurfaced in my stitches since becoming a mother. 

knitting and sewing has been the kiss that awakened the artist in me and allows me to find balance in motherhood.  carving out time to create refuels me in so many ways.  i am blessed to have a quiet space to work in, and find inspiring niveaus of square one with every mess and subsequent cleanout + reorganization.  wishing you a lovely weekend - happy making!  xoxo

above

we saw a small rainbow at soccer camp last week.  but when we arrived home, one of the girls noticed this :: a rainbow circle.

i mean, have you ever???

yes, of course i ran inside for my camera - and this is SOOC, mind you - what a keeper.  as is the memory of lying in the grass with my girlies, completely quiet and breathing it in.  and wondering who else might have seen this...

i like to think of it as an embrace from above.  xoxo

around the corner

enjoy your weekend!  xoxo

"that" mom

so i'm at the thrift yesterday morning - a little solo excursion in search of hidden treasure.  and as this amazingly beautiful woman is ringing up my small collection of pillowcases and drinking glasses, she looks at me and says,

"you look real cute.  your little vest and all your cute brown, real cute.  you're like that mom on TV who bakes her kids cookies and makes her kids clothes and does arts and crafts with them."

and in her absolutely perfect face, i could see that she was being genuine, that her comments came from a place of warmth and kindness.

but somehow, despite whatever personal growth i may have made these past 4+ years, insecurity rose quickly to the surface and there i was explaining myself, talking about my years as a teacher and how i was ready to shift gears when the girls came along.  my knee-jerk reaction had me rationalizing my at-home-ness and defending something that not only was not in need of defense, but something that she was simply complimenting.  even as the words crossed my lips, i knew my insecurities had taken over.  after about 15 seconds of blathering on, i finally was able to mute myself and assess the situation.  as soon as i got back to the car, i wrote it all down.  and i've read it at least a dozen times since.

what i should have said was, "THANK YOU!"

hello, reality check.  you see, one thing that really stuck with me from graduate school was studying maslow's heirarchy and coming to terms that we pretty much never achieve self-actualization, rather - if we are lucky - we may reach a state of self-actualizing.  from time to time, i feel like i really am there, in the moment, comfortable with it all.  but what i am learning is that is easier to look around - to compare and contrast.  succumbing to contentment and embracing the peace of any given moment in one's life is a tremendous challenge - and it looks like i still have some work to do.  i'm up for that.  xoxo

anew

i've been giving a lot of thought to things lately.  that is not to say that i typically do not think about things, rather that i have been putting extra effort toward being mindful of the day-to-day.  in addition to my instinctual embracing of what we do, there has been this feeling growing inside me, a need to also acknowledge and accept the why of things.

like magic, i found myself drawn to this ever so lovely book.
again.
and instead of heading for my beloved index, as i tend to do with craft books, i started from the beginning.  i felt an honest-to-goodness pull, an internal need to read it as the author intended, without jumping ahead in any kind of excitement to create.  i settled in for a good read, much as i do with nigella cookbooks, and started to take it all in.  with pleasure, i might add.

and it was there that i found this ::

YES!  i swear my heart skipped a beat when i read that - perhaps the other times i read through these same pages, my eyes glossed over it.  but what is more likely is that i was not yet ready for it to speak to me until now.  until this day, this point in my life.  with all that is going on these days, i am reassured that so many other people get it.  i find comfort that we are many in this journey, that we are empowered by our choice of domesticity.  and that we can not and will not be filed under...

that so many of us enthusiastically explore and embrace these gentle arts - and many of them, i might add - well, this is of tremendous inspiration and encouragement to me.  i look forward to seeing what lies ahead, and embrace the journey that will lead me there.  and to be able to share that with you, will be so so great.  xoxo

::

i'll be closing the shop on wednesday as we enjoy a mini-holiday that involves an airplane, a minivan (!), saltwater, sunshine and family.  i will be back in this space next monday - wishing you all a gentle and inspiring week!  xoxo