this is gonna be a long one, but it could very well be one of the most important things i ever write. join me?
thursday morning i woke up refreshed and content and at peace with where i am. i woke up happy. i am happy. very much so, in fact. here we are at friday already, and guess what? still happy.
had you asked me how i was doing on monday evening, however, you would been met by a sobbing confused frightened mess. heck, had you asked me that wednesday afternoon, you would have seen everything sinking in and a more serious mess. but now i'm good. very good, indeed.
you see, on wednesday i was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
it all started with a wave of dizzyness about a week ago, which i originally thought was an inner ear problem, or a reaction to the antibiotics i had just completed for a severe yellow jacket sting. a visit to the urgent care just before halloween resulted in the opinion that the dizzyness was just the flu trying to work its way into my system, i was patted on the head as it were, told to take a few advil and rest. i left slightly consoled, slightly confused, and quite frustrated. i knew something wasn't right.
over the weekend, the dizzyness evolved into double vision (enter the eye patch), and monday morning i called my eye doctor and got an appointment for tuesday. but i knew something wasn't right and that tuesday wasn't soon enough. so i called my physician who told me to get in there immediately. after a thorough exam, she identified the palsy in my eye, ordered several brain scans to look into the cause, and miraculously sent me to the cleveland clinic to see a few of the brightest neuro-ophthalmologists out there. long story short, they predicted MS. next day, MRI and CAT scans ruled out masses on my brain (yay!), but i still needed to see a neurologist. at that point i was feeling on top of the world. then the next day - wednesday, as in not even 2 days ago - i received an early morning phone call which had me consoling the girls about yet another change in plans as they headed to visit their nonnie while i went to the neurologist. a few hours later i was diagnosed with Early MS. in fact, i'm about as early on as one can be diagnosed. and that, friends, is a very good thing.
today i begin a short-term course of IV treatments to hopefully correct the double vision, which by the way is the only symptom i have - otherwise i feel terrific. honestly. correcting the vision will make me feel like myself again and there is a high probability this treatment will do what it's supposed to. i also will begin long-term treament which will hopefully slow the progression of the disease. it may not change my lifestyle - only time will tell - and i am going to do everything in my power to see to it that we linger indefinitely in this phase. many people with Early MS manage the disease with medication and frequent monitoring by a neurologist and such. and then there are people who progress more deeply into the disease. it all has to do with how your disease responds to medication. we are hopeful and ready to play ball. bring it.
i must confess though, the first time i heard the doctors say MS there was a moment when i didn't think they were serious, followed by my mind suddenly flashing forward to the worst possible scenario. but now i know more about where i am, and more importantly, how fortunate i am that we caught this when and how we did. had i gone to my eye doctor a day later, it is possible i would have gotten new corrective lenses and been fine for a while as the condition worsened in my brain. but i listened when my body was telling me something wasn't right. i called and called until i got a hold of my doctor. she was very thorough with her examinations and extremely proactive in calling and calling to arrange same-day scans and exams. all along the way i made every effort to articulate my symptoms to everyone and write down everything i could. technicians made scheduling accommodations for me simply because i asked. i am so thankful for them, for my doctors, for my husband and daughters, our entire family and friends. and i will continue to learn more, continue to be vigilant about my health and proactive with my treatment. you bet i will. so yeah, it's been quite a week. and i'm really really good now - ok, except for the double vision thing, but that'll hopefully be taken care of soon enough. (and yes, i have already sewn two eye patches of the softest linen and pretty feedsack scraps, but can't seem to get the fit quite right.)
so... on thursday, i woke up knowing i have MS, and here's what we did. it was a beautiful day in every possible way you can imagine and more. very similar to any given thursday, in fact. except for me rockin' the eye patch, which the girls think is the coolest thing EVER, "mama, i love your pirate eye patch." - oh, how i love them.
: we made breakfast :
: mama put on makeup. on one eye, that is :
: went to swimming lessons :
: played hide & seek in the locker room :
: went to target :
: ate lunch :
: ran around the playground :
: built a fire & knit a bit :
: the hub brought home chinese, to everyone's delight :
: our favorite princesses danced to ABBA :
: and after the littles were asleep, mama packed their lunch for "fun friday" at pre-K today, including the very important single hershey kiss hidden in each bento :
it was such a beautiful day. just like any other day. and despite what's going on - or perhaps because of it - i enjoyed every speck of the day, breathing it in + savoring every bit. and i will continue to do so. and i encourage you to do the same. enjoy your day. your weekend. your life. xoxo
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p.s. in completely unrelated sewing news - let's get back to crafting, shall we? - be sure to come back here on monday, as i am quite excited about a very special giveaway + a project i am delighted to share with you. xoxo
